utmostidiocy:

A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it’s 3am. And you’re home alone. And you don’t have a baby.

cancerously:

soldier-out-of-time:

captainamericasbiggestfan:

soldier-out-of-time:

captainamericasbiggestfan:

soldier-out-of-time:

captainamericasbiggestfan:

soldier-out-of-time:

to-see-floating-lanterns-gleam:

soldier-out-of-time:

ask-the-mockingbird:

AYE AYE CAPTAIN!

AYE AYE CAPTAIN!

CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!

CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!

CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!

THIS IS THE BEST POST ON THE INTERNET EVERYONE ELSE GO THE FUCK HOME

fffcuk:

today this girl asked me if we were hiring and we are but i told her we weren’t because right now im the prettiest girl that works here and if she got hired i wouldn’t be anymore

vanehwasreal:

my sister sent me a text saying “for the next 30 years you have to live with one person in the same room all the time. afterwards you have to kill them. would you choose someone you like or someone you hate?”

I have never been more distraught in my entire life

dicksp8jr:

this is a sad story but i can’t stop laughing that the boyfriend’s first instinct was to cover for her by claiming it was the blood of Jesus

Are you kidding me
Who the fuck threw that blue shell
I will fuck you up